Critical Reason #1: We Need Brotherhoods to Become Better Men Interestingly, men, not women, are the likeliest to form gender-based groups, and have the highest percentage of groups that meet in secret (“secret societies”). While most of these groups have traditionally had a specific agenda — religious, political, or otherwise — it’s through organized groups that men come together to compete, insult, berate, and grow together. This is a male-specific form of bonding and growth. Men for thousands of years have come together in intentional groups to sharpen each other in different ways. It’s through challenges from other men that we grow. Critical Reason #2: Bonding with Other Men Is How We Best Learn David Deida, author of Way of the Superior Man, eloquently states the defining characteristic of the male sex: “Life as a man is like a constant error correction. Making a mistake, and correcting, then making another mistake and correcting.” This is distinct from the way wom...

Brotherhood used to be built into tribes and nomadic cultures. Lionel Tiger, who literally wrote the book on male bonding, had this to say: “Male bonding is a process with biological roots to the establishment of alliances necessary for group defense and hunting.” The question, then, becomes, have we lost the integral existence of male groups because our modern lives don’t make them a necessity? Because of their lack of survival obligation, modern brotherhood is becoming more of a lost art relegated to secret societies and dying traditions. The few remaining forms of these brotherhoods are fraternities, Boy Scouts, and church groups. You might also have boyhood friendships that has lasted through adulthood, or built-in brotherhood through close brothers, uncles, or perhaps your father. That is, if you’re lucky. Not so with me. I was an only boy of four sisters, so I was out of luck in the “built-in brotherhood” department. And while I loved Boy Scouts, it’s an adventure tha...

The responses from my closest male friends surprised me when I asked them this question: “What’s the one thing you feel was or is missing that’s held you back from becoming a man?” I assumed for most men it would be “lack of direction” or “knowing my purpose.” But the common thread in every reply caught me completely off-guard. Nearly all the responses had to do with a painful absence of brotherhood or mentorship in their lives. I know that pain deeply. For at least the last decade, I’ve felt the void of brotherhood and have wondered if I’ll ever have what childhood friends and old men sitting around barbershop stools have. I’m not talking about just “bros” you shoot the breeze with, but quality, salt-of-the-earth men you know have your back through thick and thin. I’ve felt a pull to build a brotherhood of men I can count on to meet up without hesitance and have real camaraderie with, not just guys that want to get wasted and chase women. And it’s painfully clear to me...

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Nearly all the responses had to do with a painful absence of brotherhood or mentorship in their lives. I know that pain deeply. For at least the last decade, I’ve felt the void of brotherhood and have wondered if I’ll ever have what childhood friends and old men sitting around barbershop stools have. I’m not talking about just “bros” you shoot the breeze with, but quality, salt-of-the-earth men you know have your back through thick and thin. I’ve felt the pull to build a brotherhood of men I can count on to meet up without hesitance and have real camaraderie with, not just guys that want to get wasted and chase women. And it’s painfully clear to me that most men are starving for a brotherhood that goes beyond beer slugging and fantasy football. I got tired of passively complaining and decided to do something about it. You can choose, like I did, to actively create what you want, or wallow in your despair. But first things first… The Lost Art of Intentional Brotherhoods Brotherhood used...